Thursday, August 18, 2011

Do I love what I’m doing?

Punch in at 7.45 am after two days holiday.  Actually last Tuesday I felt so lazy, so tired, so sick and so exhausted. I felt no energy left for me to drive, to think, to do my routine, to do my homework and so on. I cannot think correctly when I face simple situation, iaitu nak pergi kerja atau tak?!

I’m not complaining. I’m just wanted to let it go the entire burden. Push them away and wanna be positive girl. BUT I am just normal human being, normal girl, normal daughter, normal employee and normal student. Sometime I cannot take the entire situation in the same time. Do I have to be like robot? Or like superwomen, got so much power to finish all the tasks! No I can’t! At least, can I have extra battery for my body?

Last Monday night, I got headache or pain killer or whatever but it’s sucks. Oh Dear, I cannot draw oneself up!. My head so dizzy! My hold body just likes krem, such as crush on big of stone. After sahur, on Tuesday morning, my headache comes again. Then I text my office mate, I’m sorry, I m.c today, please tell big boss. So after text, I went back to my sleep and promised to myself to wake up at 9 o clock. I’m telling you, I woke up at 2 o clock. Oh dear, can u see how tired I am?

Why? Because I don’t get enough sleep and rest. This fasting month I have class on weekends. And to add my exhausted, I driving all alone from Rembau to Serdang, which is 1 hour to reach one destination and I do it twice (Saturday and Sunday). Sigh.

Actually, as a Muslim, we are not allowed to sigh, am I right? It’s like you don’t be grateful for what you already have. Whatever it is, yet still the best for us. Siapa kita untuk menidakkan kejadianNYA kan. So, I choose to be like this, and I have to fight, to win. Not write on my blog and telling myself again the same situation that I’ve been face almost 3 years. BUT this time, it’s little bit different ok.

I’ve to let it go all the negative feelings because when people ask me.. “How are doing?”. “Are you good?”. My typical answer is.. “I’m good”.” Totally fine” (with smiling all the face). But the truth is I’m not enjoying myself. Damn.

I love my job and I love my study. To balance it, there is so much to be sacrifice just to achieve one goal.
Yeah! Another typical word!!!

but actually, after two days rest, when my boss say.. "apa khabar hari ni? dah sihat?"


it's make my day awesome! wahahaha.. 
Alhamdulillah dpt, bos yg sgt C-O-O-L!

Sorry, grammatical error banyak dikesan..masa menulis ni masih lagi sakit kepala. Terima kasih